A survey in the spirit (hoho do you see?) of nostalgia since I've given up booze for a while:1. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DRUNK?A definitive yes.2. HOW OLD WERE YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK?16 I think.3. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN/GIVEN DIGITS WHILE INTOXICATED?Surprisingly enough, no.4. HAVE YOU EVER DRUNK DIALED?Argh, yes.5. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DRUNK IN FRONT OF FAMILY MEMBERS?Hell yes. Possibly less often than they've been drunk in front of me though haha.6. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT YOU WERE DRUNK?I think I stopped bothering after I was 18. I have pretended a hangover was 'something I ate' several times though.7. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ARRESTED FOR ANY ALCOHOL RELATED CRIME?No although I probably should have been once or twice.8. HAVE YOU EVER HOOKED-UP WITH SOMEONE WHILE DRUNK?Have I ever while NOT drunk?9. EVER FORGOT THEIR NAME?No!10. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE DRUNK?Not paralytic, but at my grandmother's 80th birthday party in March. An ambulance had to called for another family member at one point so you can see what kind of family parties we go in for.11. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A DRUNKEN BINGE?Binge? I wouldn't call it that no.12. DO YOU NEED ALCOHOL TO HAVE A GOOD TIME?Nope. But around strangers I'm much less likely to without it.13. WHAT KIND OF ALCOHOL GETS YOU THE MOST INTOXICATED?Red red wine.14. FAVORITE LIQUOR:Tuaca.15. FAVORITE BEER:Harveys/Guinness.16. HAVE YOU EVER WOKEN UP AFTER A NIGHT OF DRINKING AND FOUND OUT THAT YOU WERE STILL DRUNK?Once or twice, it's great until you get the hangover at 3pm...17. HAVE YOU EVER SWAM DRUNK?Not that I can remember but living by the sea it seems worryingly likely.18. WHAT KIND OF A DRUNK ARE YOU?Flirty and funny or throwing up, with no intervening stages.19. IS ALCOHOL LIKE "TRUTH SERUM" TO YOU?I don't know about truth but I certainly reveal things.20. FAVORITE DRINKING PARTNERS:I'm not fussy really!21. FAVORITE BAR?N/A.22. HAVE YOU EVER COMPLETELY BLACKED OUT?Yes occasionally, but usually not until I hit the bed/sofa. Though there was that unfortunate toilet incident...23. HAVE YOU EVER PUKED FROM DRINKING?Yes, and every time I give it up forever ahem.24. HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE 'CRYING DRUNKS'?No, but a drink helps if I'm crying already.25. CAN YOU STILL DO PHYSICAL ACTIVITY WHILE INTOXICATED?I like to believe I can but have frequently been proved wrong.26. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN INTO A DRUNKEN FIGHT?Verbal yes, physical no.27. WHO IS THE MOST ANNOYING DRUNK THAT YOU KNOW?My step-dad maybe.28. WHO IS THE MOST FLIRTATIOUS DRUNK?Probably me.29. BESIDES YOURSELF, DOOFUS.Oh. My friends M. and N. I guess.30. HAVE YOU RECEIVED A BOOTY CALL?Sort of.31. FUNNIEST DRUNKEN SCENE?So many to choose from... this is the longest ago and thus least embarrassing: being carried down East Grinstead high street by a total stranger having broken the heel off my (borrowed) shoes and for some reason screaming that I was wearing grey M&S knickers, a fact that was probably apparent anyway since my arse was in the air. Or hijacking a shopping trolley and a mirror ball somewhere in Stoke Newington with those depraved Sinister types.32. FAVORITE SONG(S) ABOUT DRINKING:Seven Drunken Nights.34. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HIT ON BY SOMEONE DECENTLY OLDER?Yes. In fact one of my first ever snogs was with an upsettingly bearded chav (ok I hate that word but I can't think of another description) in The Warehouse (RIP) in Brighton.35. WHAT'S THE WORST 'BUZZ KILL'?Someone getting hurt.36. HAVE YOU EVER DATED A BARTENDER OR BOUNCER OR COCKTAIL WAITRESS?Nearly. I had a crush on a bartender for about a year.37. DO YOU EVER SAY TO YOURSELF, "----, I NEED A BEER"?Frequently.38. DO STRANGERS EVER BUY YOU DRINKS?Not any more.39. HAVE YOU EVER DRANK TOO MUCH?What is 'too much'? Almost certainly yes.40. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU REFUSE TO DRINK?Anything aniseed flavour.41. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DRUNK ON A PLANE?Noooo.42. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN DRUNK DURING THE DAY?Yes, but in a nice summer beach picnic way, not a curtains closed watching Countdown and crying way.43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO RUN FROM THE COPS AND LEAVE THE BEER BEHIND?Not from the *cops*...44. WHAT'S YOUR FAV drinking game?Can't remember!45. HAVE YOU EVER INJURED YOURSELF WHILE DRUNK?Blisters, cigarette burns and twisted ankles is about all.46. WHAT'S THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE THING THAT YOU HAVE DONE WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK?Physically or emotionally?47. EVER BEEN DRUNK AT A CONCERT?Only at festivals. I threw up while watching the Smashing Pumpkins at Reading once, but that may not have been the booze...48. IS THIS SURVEY GETTING TOO LONG?Yeah, time for a drink I think.49. ARE YOU READY FOR THE LAST QUESTION?Bring it on.50. WHY DO YOU DRINK?For relaxation and necessary inhibition lowering.Tags: memes 14:47 . . .
Gutentag! Ich habe returned from Germany where my depth of ignorance of the language was only matched by that of my co-holidayers, with hilarious consequences. Slight improvement on my last visit 10 years ago however, in that I did remember this time that 'Schinken' is ham, and thus not something to be ordered as a toasted sandwich filling by vegetarians. There aren't too many phrases you have to master if you don't eat meat though, especially in the depths of Wurst country: 'pommes frites mit mayonnaise bitte' will cover most of your gastronomic needs and indeed options (and of those five words, three are clearly French anyway.) And while we're on the subject of potato products, I do think that it's time there was some kind of EU directive which would get continental Europe to embrace the salt and vinegar crisp. It's 2006 guys! 'Paprika' flavour is just not an acceptable substitute any more, if it ever was.Despite the backward attitude to crisps, I did have a lovely time. We stayed in a wooden cabin near a lake, and more importantly near the best minigolf course ever. We were the only English people for miles around, and yet everyone was most friendly and patient with our miserable attempts to communicate. We travelled up a mountain in a precariously ancient cable car, nearly sank a pedalo, drove around the beautiful countryside in our magic hired van, played poker into the wee small hours, and giggled stupidly at German telly.It's always nice coming back to England and realising that you Know What To Do here, though. Tipping etiquette, toilets and menus are suddenly a breeze. It was even nice driving back from Luton past a million England flags, as rather than nationalistic and hopelessly deluded football-based bravado, they seemed like jolly patriotic reminders that I was Home. It also seems to have become summer in my absence, which is lovely. And summer means tennis, and Pimms, and my birthday, and all that stuff.Tags: holidays Germany 15:00 . . .
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